The lifelong theme that flows through my heart is the desire to help others to heal and be whole. Healing is a journey that requires that we be vulnerable and open. Your heart has to be soft, open, pliable and reachable.
The problem is that many of our hearts are hardened with a protective shield, meant to block out heart break, life traumas, feelings of inadequacy and fear. I realize that talk, alone, will never suffice as a healing modality. This is why I seek a means to really make a difference in the lives of my clients. I feel like counseling alone is not cutting it. If I could have one wish come true, it would be that I could give others the gift of knowing, feeling and experiencing the love of God. I swear it would make the difference!
It made a difference in my life fifteen years ago when I experienced this AWESOME, AWESOME LOVE OF GOD. There is nothing that I can think of that could have made me worthy of such a blessing. I don’t know that there was anything that I did that would warrant this encounter. But, I remember being in the presence of an energy that was larger than life, all encompassing, cell penetrating! I remember hearing, “I want to show you how much I love you” and feeling an all consuming love that penetrated every cell of my body, my spirit body. Yet, I knew it was only a drop, not even the fullness of the love that was present. I was consumed and felt as if it were a bit more, I would cease to exist as an individual. I felt a cleansing away of many negative thoughts and beliefs. They simply dissolved.
Then He said, “I WANT YOU TO TELL THE PEOPLE TO HAVE FAITH IN ME”. I awakened in tears and still consumed. I think I must have cried for days and still to this day, when I share this, I cry. My soul was penetrated by an ALL CONSUMING PRESENCE AND ENERGY THAT I CAN ONLY IDENTIFY WITH THE AUTHOR, THE CREATOR OF LIFE.
To experience this, meant knowing that GOD IS LOVE IN ESSENCE, NOT IN PART, BUT IN ITS FULLNESS! LOVE IS GOD’S NATURE, THE SUM TOTAL. ANYTHING ELSE IS NOT OF GOD, PERIOD! This is what I wish I could give to people. If only a word or touch could deliver this love, like an injection, I would do it! I want for others to feel what I felt. It would change the way they look at life.
I felt encouraged, enlivened, and lighter in spirit! I felt like I could do anything! Because God LOVES ME…LIKE THAT… I CAN’T LOSE! I felt and I still feel extremely empowered. And if I could transfer this to others, I would, with the same intensity and power! My motivation is to facilitate positive and permanent life change, HEALING.
Although, I have not been able to generate that kind of love, it is the desire that motivates me to do my best and give the most of myself to those that I encounter. It just never seems to be enough. I always feel that I can do more. I guess WHEN GOD IS YOUR ROLE MODEL, YOU CAN ALWAYS DO BETTER.