Love That Rules

Love… Is said to be complicated, undefinable and a learned behavior, as if it were not a natural part of who we are.

Love… Like all other intangible, metaphysical, spiritual virtues, emotions and energies are viewed as mystical, unfathomable and unattainable by many.

Yet, love is our quest, our mission. It is our savior, our healer. When love is discovered and experienced in its fullest manifestation, it defines us. It justifies and substantiates, adding value to our existence. It gives purpose.

We, of the human race have not been able to sustain love in our relationships, nor in our love for nature, Mother Earth. We see this inability in failed marriages, physical and mental abuses, pollution, manipulation and war.

It is obvious that in this physical, tangible world of man-made rules and regulations that are not governed by spiritual laws, love does not conquer all. Man has created and implemented the terms of engagement, which are self-serving; meant to control and manipulate.  An exhibition of love, on this plane and within these laws, is considered a weakness.

Au contraire. Amour, in a spiritual sense, rules! It is the measurement and definition of adoration, respect, and sensual love, brotherly and sisterly love. You see in the Bible, in the Song of Solomon, a man or woman loves his or her spouse, not only as a spouse, but as a brother and as a sister. His Love, his sister, his spouse, is a jewel to him and he seems to be consumed by her essence.

4:9 Thou has ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with ONE of thine eyes, with ONE chain of thy neck

7:1 HOW BEAUTIFUL are thy feet with shoes, O prince’s daughter! The joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman.

7:9 And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved , that goeth down sweetly causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.

8:6-7 Love is as strong as death… Many waters cannot quench love

The Song of Solomon expresses the power and beauty of mutual, committed love between a man and a woman. Although, extremely sensual, the foundation of the relationship in this scripture seems to be that of adoration and respect.

In 8:8 Solomon acknowledges the many classes of women such as the queens, concubines and virgins. But he says in 8:9, My dove, my undefiled is but one; He describes her as the choice, the blessed and the praised, fair and clear. In his eyes, she is more prized than queens, concubines and virgins. She is One-Of-A-Kind, In-A-Class-By-Herself.

This Shulamite woman was BAD!!!  When you read his description of her and how he felt about her, you know that they had a connection that transcended that of a physical nature.  He is also extremely attentive to her every detail.  He has probed this woman in every way imaginable! I think Solomon had to be born under the Scorpio sun sign. (Smiling)

Beginning in chapter 9:10, you see that she knows his love for her and is secure in it.  Her love for him is two-fold as well, that of a spouse and a brother.  Her attitude is that of nurture and protection towards a brother. Yet, she desires him as a man, her beloved.

This Song of Solomon is BEAUTIFUL!!

I may have gone off on a tangent with this scripture, but I could not ignore the power of the love it exudes.  The depth of this love is to the core and to the core, means to the spiritual core.  How do we harness this type of love in our society today? From where does this type of love come from and how do we sustain it?

There is no doubt in my mind that the physical is a tool of attraction. I believe that God intended for it to be that way. But, I do not believe that he intended for us to neglect the spiritual aspects of romantic, sensual love.  I think the Creator intended for us to create life through love, not fear. Our relationships, marriages, children, businesses, friendships, homes, arts, poetry, songs, etc., should be the result of love.  Even sorrow and anger is the result of love that has been interrupted in some way or another. Somewhere, someone did not fulfill an act of love and the result was pain, sorrow, anger, hate. But, in the beginning was love.

In the beginning, there was love… We are expressions of God’s love and attention. In love, we were designed and created with great wisdom and attention to detail, just as Solomon’s attentiveness to everything about his beloved.

God’s creation begins with thought of or intention. God then speaks of the intention, giving form to his intention, as in Genesis, the first book of the bible. Heaven and Earth were created to contain, sustain and nurture Man. Then out of love God said that “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make for him an help meet for him” Genesis 2:18.  God was thinking of all that would make life on earth achievable and fruitful. But, I noticed that after saying this, God created the beast of the field, the fowl of the air first, not woman.

In 2:19-20 Adam named all of the living creatures that God created to help him. But, it seems that it was Adam that was not quite happy with being the only one of his kind, “but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him”.  My attention immediately focused on “help meet”, which obviously translates to and defines the expected and intended role of the woman who Adam desired and what God felt  would enhance him. So, looking at these individual words on, I found the following synonyms:

            Help:  ancillary (supplementary), favorable, friendly, helpful, propitious

            Meet: fitting, applicable, appropriate, apt, equitable, expedient,fair, suitable 

I found it interesting that propitious means that favorable conditions are present (existing), versus the word auspicious, which means success in the future, implying that maybe the person is not currently a favorable choice; not currently helpful or appropriate.

So, it was made very clear what a woman should be to her man. And she was created out of man to be a blessing to man, to complement him.  As it implies from his desire and request for a “help meet”, that he did not feel complete until he had a woman. Therefore, would you agree that it was she that was created to complement him, to round him out, to complete him?

It is interesting that the woman, as in “help meet” is defined as a supplement that is fitting and worthwhile to meet the desires of the man, already made whole by God. But notice the difference in definition of the words supplement and complement,

            Supplement:  an addition to something already complete

            Complement: an addition, companion, counterpart whose purpose is to complete, to make whole

It seems that from the beginning, God saw Man as complete and deserving of a supplement, a help meet for companionship and to help him. Yet, Man did not perceive himself to be whole, until “bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh”, was created out of himself. Then, life was good.

I didn’t set out in this direction.  I set out to give form to love as it is from a spiritual standpoint. But, I see that my focus has turned to why our love is not what it should be. The focus has switched to the possible reason why the love manifested in our lives is so dysfunctional.  Perhaps it stems from man’s wrong relationship with woman and perception of her as a complement, rather than a supplement, as she should be according to the definition of a “help meet”.

Men, if she is your supplement, this means that you are: the base, the core, the authority, backbone, essential, the heart, infrastructure, key, origin, primary element, principal and root of the union.  YOU ARE BOSS!!!

But, to be BOSS you must rule with authority from a spiritual place of power, mastery, influence, credit, righteousness, strength, sovereignty and yes LOVE, which you can only get from the Creator, your Source!

I think this is what ALL women look for in a man. Your rightful place, as established by God, is not what we seek. We can and do often rise to the occasion, but this is not where we want to be. We want strong, truth-seeking, honorable men that we can follow and support and love. We want to see you in your glory, God’s glory.

Behind you or beside you is not important to us. But, we desire that your spirit lead us in righteousness and fulfills our union and the purpose of the Creator. Our union should be one that makes the Creator happy that he fulfilled your desire for a “help meet”. Your countenance should stimulate our desire to fulfill our duties to you, just as our support and commitment to you, should inspire you to continue to walk in righteousness, to serve God and to nurture us, your “help meet”.

I think, that it is from this place that love rules.




Copyright © 2011 by Shonda J. Pertilla  All Rights Reserved.

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