Designing Self

Recently, I’ve been feeling exceptionally empowered! I feel more so, than any other time in my life that I have an idea of who I am on multiple levels. I’m not just a woman. I am a powerful woman, who knows what it means to be in control of my body, mind, spirit and yes, my career. I know that I can say no to my husband and to my children and to whoever else needs to be put in place. I know my value and therefore I can negotiate for what I want. I don’t have to settle. My value has been established and whenever and wherever it is not recognized, I can decide to move on from that person or that place. I HAVE THE POWER TO DECIDE AND I HAVE THE COURAGE TO DO SO!

I feel empowered because I believe that we are all CREATED BY DESIGN. Our DESIGN EMPOWERS us. God created us in His image and we are to discover and unveil it through time. The design is complete and we are the blueprint. The MASTER ARCHITECT thought of us, spoke of us and viola! You see, it is “voila” in God’s eyes, because it is done! It is now time for us to discover and review our blueprint to learn of our design and function, our purpose.

Along the way, you were told who you were, by family members, television, history books, statistics, employers and strangers. You absorbed what they told you and what you saw. You accepted the attitudes of others as an indication of who you were. Some things are not even spoken. But, we can perceive what others think and feel through their energy and body language. It’s called discernment. We can discern judgments and rejection. Well, I am here to tell you that all of those people have been a part of your “RE-DESIGN TEAM”! LOL!!! That’s right; they made themselves an authority and designer of YOU! Did you ask them to take on this most unnecessary task of redesigning what God has already completed? No! But, somehow, they have obliged themselves in creating and fixing various aspects of your design. They look at you and decided that your hair is wrong, your skin color is wrong and your body type is ALL WRONG. Then you look at the definitions, both written and implied, and agree that you are, ALL WRONG! So, you spend half or all of your life conforming to who others think you should be.

My hair is naturally nappy! Is this a flaw? I’m brown, with thick lips, a slender body, yet fairly pronounced derriere. Is this a flaw? Of course not! I am sentimental and feeling; compassionate and apathetic. Am I weak? I am sometimes a loner, a lone wolf. Not a sheep, as many have thought. J Does this mean that I am disconnected? No, but it does mean that I know my limit for interaction and seek refuge to regenerate and focus my attention and energies on things that are of importance to me and that will further the fulfillment of my purpose. However, the perception of how others perceive you or learned behavior, will seep through into your original blueprint.

Many years ago, a guy that I dated for a couple years told me something that I just recently recognized as a truth about me. He picked up on a learned behavior that I had not noticed as a flaw. He first acknowledged and communicated his highest regard for me and then said, “Your only downfall is that you stoop to where others are, to make them feel better about themselves”. PROFOUND!! In other words, you compromise yourself for others. Although, I received this very honest criticism without taking offense, it did not resonate with me at that time. I’ve held on to it all of these years, turning it over and over in my mind to find its meaning. Me and this guy did not end up together, but WOW! What a statement of true insight that I’ve rarely, if ever, received from anyone. This was definitely an insight that I needed to hear from someone. Although it has taken me 15 years or more to acknowledge its truth, I THANK YOU FOR THAT!

This is an example of how your TEAM OF REDESIGNERS can impact and alter your blueprint with their perceptions of who you should be. This revelation is helping me to define my relationships and my career focus. Over the years I have had friends and relationships that were counterproductive. I chose to change my career, so that I could help others on a full-time, paid basis. What I have realized is that in both instances, I have been selling myself short. I’ve allow people in my inner space that should have never been there and my plan and vision for helping people is no longer to seek out those in need to convince them of who they are and what I see in them. When you do that, you take on that person’s burdens of discovering self and you literally are inviting them to get on your back so that you can discover and unveil it for them. We all have to bear our own cross. Jesus bore his cross and followed his mission by never stepping down to the distractions of man. If he had, would he have fulfilled his purpose? I use him as an example of how to help without being hindered.

Recognize that we all have to carry our own burden of discovering who we are; of casting aside the false perceptions and teachings of others to fulfill our divine design. Do not leave it up to a cast of naysayers and those seeking control. Find your power, your truth and walk in it. Strut in it! This is your life’s work.

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