WOMAN POWER ~ MAN-HATING ~ WOMANIFESTING ~ BRA BURNING ~ LESBIAN ~ FEMINISTA
These are some terms used to describe attributes of feminists and the feminist movement. And to be honest, I had never really given it much thought. I never thought enough about it to be for it or against. Maybe it is because I’m not really big on putting myself in boxes; of tying myself to one belief, one religion or another. I tend to look for truth anywhere, in all people, movements and religions.
However, a couple of weeks ago I found myself in the midst of what felt like a “feminine wrath”. I made a comment that seemed to take the side or support of patriarchy and its history of abuse and or neglect of women. And that really wasn’t my intention. But, never the less, my comment was met with “passionate advocacy” for the plight of women. The reaction that I received from my comment provoked deep thoughts within me about what feminism is and what it means to be a feminist. If felt weird being in that position. Afterall, I’m a woman too and I’ve experienced the double standards as well. Women have had a hard way to go and our oppressors, unfortunately, have been our fathers, our brothers and our lovers. But somehow, I don’t feel the same way. I mean, I don’t feel contempt as many feminist seem to feel towards men.
With a bit of research into the feminist movement, its history and various classifications and characteristics, I’ve found that the expression of feminist beliefs and temperament are diverse. While not all feminist are male bashers, they are all down for one cause and that is equal rights and opportunities for women… And so am I… But do we need to apply the title of “feminist” to our person, to our identity? Sure, it expresses the passion for the cause, but the term and some philosophies of feminism, seem to drive a bigger wedge between men and women. If you’ve decided that you can do without men period, that’s fine. But, what if you’re a woman who still loves the opposite sex? What if you’re a traditional woman, like myself, who wants that masculine energy whose nature is to lead? Not dominate, abuse, mistreat or oppress, but to be a righteous, virtuous, respectful leader. There are always exceptions, but most women that I know want to be cared for and taken care of by a man of mental, spiritual and physical strength. It makes us feel safe and secure, not because we are weak and can’t defend ourselves. I think we have proven that we can. But because it feeds and justifies our femininity. Being in the presence of a “Real Man”, created in the image, with the heart of God, a woman feels complete. He is her complement. She is his complement. Balance and harmony, brother, sister, friend, lover, partner, they are to each other.
Woman Power, a song by Yoko Ono, says to “teach a man how to knit and care for life, instead of killing”. She says that “women have the power to change the world”. And we do, but we don’t need to change the nature of man to achieve this change. Men war and kill partly because of their nature to defend, but also because of an imbalance and misuse of their masculine energy. Men becoming more like women or vice versa is not the answer. We are different in many ways and it’s ok. We were designed to be different, but of equal importance for what we have to offer the world and the roles in which we serve. Anatomically, biologically, we are a lot the same, but different…for a reason. DESIGN DICTATES FUNCTION. Men cannot carry and nurture babies. While science may attempt to change this… By Divine Design, men are incapable of bearing children. Yet, they carry the complement seed needed to conceive a child. WE ARE EQUALLY IMPORTANT, YET DIFFERENT. TOGETHER WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD! WE CAN CREATE A NEW WORLD where we love, respect and appreciate one another for who we are and what we were created to bring into the world.
I get that the motivation in the feminist movement is to protect women from abuse and to fight for equal rights. This is extremely important. And while the movement is an attempt to balance an imbalance, I question the spirit and attitude of some and the effect that it has on SPIRITUAL… NOT POLITICAL… BALANCE. Feminism is a fight for EQUAL POWER, meaning rights as set up by men. It is a fight for equality in a man-made system(The Law of the Land) where POWER equals land, money, political positions, job opportunities and control. However important to our physical existence, we must not lose sight of the spiritual balance that we stand to lose in patriarchal and matriarchal patterns of thought. Both are a matter of power and who holds it. Both produce dissension and is an indication of real issues stemming from:
- Our disconnect from the Creator
- Lack of knowledge of Universal (Spiritual Laws)
We can not win with either realm of thought. We were not meant to function independently of each other. And although women carry a large burden, a heavy load, either by choice or by default, most of us would rather not carry it alone. We would rather the balance of having a man to carry his portion of the load as intended by the Creator. We would rather have a husband, than a baby father to teach our sons how to be “Real Men” and show our daughters what “Real Men” do for their families. This cannot all be left up to women. Men have equal responsibility. But in the absence of a man, we do a damn good job! We’ve learned to do the best that we can to maintain balance and stability; to hold true to our nature of nurturing life and sustaining our families. Yes, women do have more power than some of us think, to influence this shift back to balance between men and women, not by aggressiveness and hurting the male ego, but in a more perfect way, using our feminine nature to influence the shift. It means a combination of strength and gentleness, as many of the pioneers in the feminist movement were able to balance. While we have no control over our male counterpart, we have influence.
I learned this in a failed marriage. When I stopped trying to change him and his behavior, I realized that this…he, was not for me to change. He was simply being who he was and had grown to be. Accept it or leave. I chose to leave it, because I couldn’t accept it. And I couldn’t accept it because the relationship was contrary to my beliefs and aspirations of what a marriage should be and the life that I wanted. I let go. I realized that, “Your lasting good will never come through forcing personal will.” ~ Florence Scovel Shinn. I realized that my thoughts were not his thoughts. We were not one; not in sync with one another and there was nothing I could do about that. “Unless marriage is built upon the rock of oneness it cannot stand.” Florence Scovel Shinn
That statement sums it up. Relationships should not be about war. Unless we work as one, with an understanding, respect and acceptance of who the other is by nature, By Divine Design, we cannot win. I want to believe that the fight of feminist is not really about power, but about respect. Maybe because men better understand action rather than expressions of emotion, women have been moved to put action to their words. But, lets be careful not to destroy men as we regain the respect that we deserve. We know that our words are powerful. Lets not use them as weapons.
Peace & Love,
Some websites I’ve visited on the subject: